What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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