I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
