its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize