i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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