Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
