I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
