he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
