you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
