shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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