Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
