Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
