Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
