Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
