Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
