Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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