**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
