Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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