Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
