is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
