Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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