I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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