Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
