She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
