Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
