i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
