dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize