I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize