At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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