Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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