I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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