new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize