So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
