I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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