dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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