We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
