There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
