At least make sure they are 18
Why
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
