What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
