I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
