420 ftw
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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