Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
