Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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