Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
