is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
