I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
