thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
