She said her name was "party"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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