Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
