I wish you could order shots online.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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