So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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