if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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