Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
