I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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