He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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