i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize