i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
