I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
