dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
