You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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