Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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