So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
one might say we're banned from that church
no. you can't hotbox the world.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
