please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We had sex on a dog bed..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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